As a little girl I always never thought much about marriage. Well, I would play that I was a mother with my dolls and I would have a husband, but I skipped the wedding. (Then again, I would also play that I was a General in the army and my dolls were my soldiers) I was not a normal child. 
For awhile when I was 12/13 all that I could think about was getting married, but as I grew older I saw more and more of my friends going on and on about when they would get married. And quite frankly I didn’t want to be one of those girls. So I slowly started to change my ways. Over time I stopped thinking obsessing about marriage. It took some time, but I finally realized and learned this lesson.
Here is a conversation between a friend and I awhile back:
Friend: I can’t WAIT to get married. Everything will be SO much better.
Me: Uh-huh.
Friend: Come one just think about it, everything will be PERFECT. I can’t wait till he comes along and sweeps me off my feet. **insert dreamy look on her part**
Me: **secretly rolling eyes** Um, yeah. That’s great, but marriage isn’t perfect! I mean my parents have an awesome marriage and they act like newly weds, but it takes alot of work to make a marriage work. And life just isn’t about getting married.
Friend: Whatever. Seriously, I don’t know why you can’t just be excited about it! I mean it’s marriage! It’s when my life will officially begin! It will be perfect.
I think that you get how the conversation went from here. She continued talking about how perfect her marriage would be and I just sat there listening.
This photo is mine so don’t steal. (Even though it’s a really bad photo)
See my friend has made marriage her idol. There is nothing wrong with wanting to get married and having kids, that is great! And it’s a part of God’s plan, but there is SO much more that you can have in life then marriage!
Let me ask you something, how old do you want to be when you are married? For some of us that age might have already gone by, but for the rest of us it’s coming up. You might be secretly feeling bitter about it or you can go on with your life.
When marriage becomes an idol it’s all that you can think about, it is your ONLY goal in life, and when you wonder if EVERY guy is the one. That is when marriage becomes an idol.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be married, we just need to be careful not to make it our idol. I’m going to make some of you gasp, but what if you are called to be single?
I am going to get off my soapbox, but I want to leave you with this- Learn to be happy when you are single and trust God. And who knows, maybe along your journey He might just send a man your way! Either way, being single is a gift. Enjoy it!
Don’t let marriage be your only goal in life. And don’t let it become an idol.
26 Responses to When Marriage Becomes An Idol
Esther
Replied on: April 27, 2012, 2:43 pm
AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! I could not agree with you more.
Rachael J
Replied on: April 27, 2012, 1:54 am
You really make it sound so easy! lol
Miss RJ
Replied on: April 29, 2012, 8:30 am
It is easy with prayer and God.
Anne-catherine
Replied on: March 27, 2012, 6:57 pm
So you are an atheist/feminist???? Since you don’t “need” a man.
Anonymous
Replied on: March 6, 2012, 6:26 pm
Awesome post!!
Kym
Replied on: February 27, 2012, 1:11 am
Woah, this article really does make you think. I never thought about it like this. Love your blog RJ!
Small Town Girlie
Replied on: February 20, 2012, 12:46 am
I love this post RJ. You are so real and honest. Keep up the great work, this post means alot to me. It is a wonderful reminder.
Kayce Anne
Replied on: February 8, 2012, 10:22 am
Amen. Preach it sister! This is so true! If I had a dollar for every girl who has obsessed over getting married I’d be rich. xD
Mina
Replied on: February 7, 2012, 3:04 pm
Awesome, awesome, awesome post.
Jenny
Replied on: January 29, 2012, 10:59 pm
Oh wow, this post is SO good RJ. I never thought about this at all before.
Beeb Ashcroft
Replied on: January 27, 2012, 4:57 am
I do think a lot of people rush into marriage. Society seems to put a lot of emphasis on goal posts and checking off boxes (Husband? Tick, Kids? Tick. Car? Tick. Etc, etc) rather than how fulfilling your life actually is – you know what I mean?
Stefani
Replied on: January 27, 2012, 3:52 am
Great post. Been with my husband for over 10 years, but only been married about 4.
Maryann
Replied on: January 27, 2012, 3:30 am
Great way to look at it. I think folks forget to live now.
Kay M @ The More The Merrier
Replied on: January 26, 2012, 11:22 am
It’s so refreshing to see a young person with their head screwed on straight.
Jennifer
Replied on: January 26, 2012, 10:30 am
a-freakin’-men!
Maiden Princess
Replied on: January 26, 2012, 9:03 am
Wonderful post! It is great to see other young ladies giving the Lord all of their hearts first and foremost. Your story of recognizing that our adventure doesn’t start the day we get married and coming out of the “marriage obsession” time sounds much like what I went through. The LORD is the only one who can truly satisfy our heart’s desires. I would like to challenge us all to go one step further though. You said at the end of your post:
“I am going to get off my soapbox, but I want to leave you with this- Learn to be happy when you are single and THEN God will send a man into your life.”
I think that saying, “I will surrender all I am to God because THEN He will give me a husband” is still not completely surrendering. I did that for awhile but found that I was still not truly giving God control of my life. I should surrender to God because I trust Him and because He is Sovereign and I know that whether He EVER brings marriage or not, He is still worthy of my life in devotion and He will meet every need I have. When I completely surrender and pursue Him with a passion I find that He is more than I could ever ask or think and find myself deeply in love with my Prince!
Maranatha
Replied on: January 26, 2012, 8:20 am
Being single is a gift from God. When you are single there is many things you can do. Enjoy your single years!:)
Toni @ A Daily Dose
Replied on: January 25, 2012, 10:18 pm
Sucha true post. I am doing a study now that would be great for singles (I am married) called Lady In Waiting it talks about some of these points.
Dawn C
Replied on: January 25, 2012, 9:37 am
I never had plans on getting married and having kids. I was actually against it. I got my associate degree and then met the love of my life. After marriage came the three kids.
Yes, do not rush. When you meet the right one you will know. I didn’t find mine until I was 28.
Rose
Replied on: January 25, 2012, 6:28 am
I know that many times I struggle with making marriage an idol. God is so good though. He keep helping me to put marriage in it’s rightful place.
He helps me to remember that whether married or single God should be the focus of my life. 
I know I still have more lessons to learn, but thanks for the reminder.
Kelsy
Replied on: January 24, 2012, 8:32 pm
Woah, I needed to hear this. Thank you SO much for this post RJ.
Nina
Replied on: January 24, 2012, 4:24 pm
Wow, this is so true and such a wonderful post RJ.
Trina
Replied on: January 24, 2012, 5:23 am
I love this post. Thank you so much for sharing your heart RJ.
Ida
Replied on: January 23, 2012, 11:57 pm
Oh wow. I think that this is one of your best posts yet. You go girl! This post is awesome and I love that you poured out your heart to us. Those posts are always the best. Please keep them coming. I needed to hear this today. One of my brother’s just got engaged and I’ve been feeling really lonely.
You are bringing back your outfit posts right?? I’ve missed them……
Miss Rachel P.
Replied on: January 23, 2012, 11:51 pm
Amen, Amen!
Great post – and I heartily agree! 
I’ve always been one of those girls who wanted to get married and always new it even from a young age, but God has really taught me some amazing lessons here during my single years that I would not trade! All these years of waiting have been good for me, and my character, and my relationship with God and my family. 
Making love/marriage/courtship/ “the perfect guy” an idol is one of the lessons God has taught me, as well.
Through the year’s He’s taught me to draw closer to God, regardless of whether I marry one day or not! 
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your heart!
God bless!
~Rachel~
Gloria
Replied on: January 23, 2012, 11:12 pm
This is such a true post. Your posts are always so encouraging. I totally feel the same way about marriage and it really heartens me to meet a fellow blogger who feels the same way as me on many views. Thanks!