Dear 13 Year Old Me

Dear thirteen year old me,

It seems like just yesterday that I blew out the candles on my birthday cake. In fact, it’s been quite a few years. In those years I’ve learned so much. And I wanted to tell you a few things that I think you should know.

Don’t change for anyone. You are perfect just the way you are. Don’t let anyone steal your light or sparkle.

You are beautiful. You don’t need makeup or fake tan to cover up. Show your true colors and be confident in who YOU are. Not who they say you should be. Weight doesn’t matter. Don’t obsess over it.

Sometimes it’s ok to let go. Don’t let people control you. Walk away from friendships gone bad and don’t look back. Your past is the past for a reason.

And that boy? Haha, forget about him honey. Trust me he isn’t the one. Sure he might be a great guy and all, but he isn’t for you. :)

You have wings. Use them. Go places you have never gone before. Use your imagination and never stop dreaming. Follow your dreams and if your dreams scare you then you are doing it right.

Your family is a huge blessing. Realize it. Love them. They aren’t burdens or pains. In fact, I think you will grow to realize that you will actually *gasp* be best friends with Jer someday.

Most of all don’t ever stop following God. He will be there for you when no one else is. Just trust Him and don’t ever give up. He never gives up on you and He will always welcome you back no matter what.

Love,

PS- Two excuses for not posting lately. Puppy and a broken computer with all my photos on it. I finally took a few minutes and wrote this up. I’m so sorry! Photo belongs to me fyi.

You mean she is still single?

“You mean she’s still single?” Girl #1

“Poor thing, I wonder what on earth is wrong with her” Girl #2

*Me choking*

This is a conversation between several people who were talking about a very beautiful and talented young woman who is single. I proceeded to sputter out to their shock that maybe she just isn’t meant for marriage and maybe God has other plans for her at the moment. The conversation soon turned to another subject and I was left rolling my eyes inwardly. They were talking as if being single was a curse!

See, alot of people have it in their heads that just because you are single means that there is something wrong with you or that you are cursed. It isn’t though. It just means that you haven’t found the right guy yet. Or maybe, wait for it! You aren’t meant to marry.

Sometimes I wonder about this, so many Christians go on and on about being married and how you *need* to find a man, it just leaves me wondering though- what about us single ladies? The ones who still haven’t found a man? Are we any less of a woman for not being married?

On the verge of sounding like a man-hating feminist (FYI- I believe that everyone is equal so there) I think that you don’t need a man to make you happy. Nope. A man won’t complete you ladies I’m quite sorry to say. Only God can do that.

To sum this post up, I just want to say that if you are single? Celebrate it. Do something you love. Write a book, learn an instrument, go on a missions trip, volunteer, make a movie, travel the world, become an artist, learn something new, broaden your education, start a business. Do something. Don’t waste the most precious years of your life crying “God JUST send me a man and I’ll love and serve you forever!”.

I don’t intend to sit around and mope while waiting for my future husband. I want to do something with my life. I want to change the world. And I am challenging you to do the same.

 I see being single as a blessing. Being married is wonderful and a beautiful gift, but being single? It is also a gift. So celebrate and live as such. :)

Photo credit- Pinterest

Every-time, All The Time, Forgiven.

The tears pour down my face. I’ve done it again. I have messed up. I’ve strayed from the narrow path. The memories burn in my mind and I’m ashamed.

Clutching my pillow I curl up and let the tears fall. My heart feels so heavy and tears burn on my cheeks. I don’t think I can do this anymore.  I whisper “Abba”

And then you come. You rescue me. I can feel you holding me and your love surrounding me. And I just surrender myself to you.

You whisper “My child you are forgiven.”

Suddenly I feel like a weight has been lifted. You take it all away. I have a clean slate to start on again. You made everything new. And the tears fall for a few more minutes, but for a different reason. I feel loved.

I don’t have to carry the weight of my mistakes, because you take them all away. I am going to mess up again, but you will always be there for me. Loving me, holding me, never letting go. You take the pain away. I don’t deserve you, yet you are always by my side. Never leaving.

I’m a sinner. I’m broken. Yet you still love me. Why? One little word. Forgiven. 

I’m forgiven. 

In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our offenses, in accordance with the riches and the generosity of His gracious favor. Ephesians 1: 7

The Girl Who Was On Fire

I recently got done reading The Hunger Games series (which is an awesome series and I have an awesome mom who surprised me with the hardcover edition a few days ago!) And one of the lines is “The girl who was on fire.” That really stood out to me. Katniss, was a girl who took a stand. She stood up for what was right. For what she believed in. She was a leader. She protected her family and those she loved most.

That is how I want to be remembered. I want to be remembered as the girl who was on fire for God. The girl who always smiled. The girl who stood up for what she believed in even when everyone else was following the flow. I want to be the girl who was on fire.

I think what I am trying to say here, is that sometimes you need to get burned a little. Sometimes you need to stand out. And sometimes, you need to make mistakes in order to learn a lesson. I have experienced many of these. I am also trying to say that sometimes we need to step up and do things that we don’t want to do.

That is what being on fire is all about. Being a leader. Stepping up. Standing your ground. And never backing down. Tomorrow might be holding my dreams, but today we need to step up and make a change.

Whatever you do, do it well and you too can be remembered as the girl who was on fire. The girl who helped to change the world. Even if it is something that you consider small. Just keep looking to our Savior.

All photos copyright RJ Gould. Do not steal.

Perfection, An Idol or a Goal?

I have always grown up feeling less then perfect. My entire life I have been the black sheep of the lot. While the other children sat there like little robots I was the girl who fidgeted during church and giggled. (Didn’t help that I had a mild dose of ADHD)

While the other girls sat like ladies, I ran around and argued with the boys. As I got older I always felt like the odd one out. Everyone else “seemed” to be so perfect. And me? I was always the child who ended up in hot water. I am strong willed and even now I usually end up with my face planted on the ground because of my wild spirit and big mouth. *cough cough*

For the last several years I have attempted to be perfect. It still hasn’t happened. Then late last year I poured my heart out to a very dear friend about feeling less then perfect. And she responded with this:

“My dear, God doesn’t love the perfect people. He doesn’t use them. He uses the broken vessels. And he loves them best. Look at all the heroes of the Bible; David committed adultery, Jeremiah whined, Paul persecuted Christian’s, Peter betrayed Jesus, and Jonah ran away from Him. God loves the broken vessels best.”

And that seriously made me think, I’m a broken vessel. But God is using me. Like a potter who mends broken pieces of art God is mending me- His masterpiece into what I am meant to be. And you know what? Until I join Him in heaven, I am never going to be perfect.

It’s so hard to just trust God and to understand that even though we are broken vessels and we will never be perfect, God sees us as masterpieces. A beautiful work of art that He is transforming into His image. And we need to just accept that.

We need to stop striving for perfection. Stop stressing about the small things in life. All that we need to do is trust in God. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about following Him. And isn’t that what the Christian walk is all about?

I wanted to share with y’all two of my favorite songs. These two songs brought me through some dark days.

Perfect (the clean version) by P!nk and It Must Be You by Bart Millard. Both of these songs are SO powerful. Just listen to them. :)

Don’t go looking for the critics, they are everywhere. They might not like your jeans or get your hair so just celebrate your imperfections, because God loves those best. And he uses them. He doesn’t use the perfect people. The imperfect people go on to do great things for Him.

Fight Your Demons

This post comes straight from my heart.  Everyone has “demons” inside of them. These demons are not real demons, but  might be addictions, personal problems or even fears. Whatever they are, we need to fight them.

It’s so easy to hide whatever you are going through. But don’t. Talk to a family member or friend. They can help you. Whatever nasty demon rears it’s ugly head and tries to fill you with doubt and fear don’t give up. It’s ok to cry, but don’t throw in the towel.  If you give up then you are letting your demon win.

It’s hard to just do what you have to do and to fight them off. But it can be done.  Sometimes you will lose the battle and sometimes you will come out the conquer. But the key is to never give up. It’s not easy, but you don’t have to live with whatever you are fighting with. You just need to believe with all your heart and dream with all your mind.

It’s a daily battle and it never ends. But what else can you do but fight? Music and prayer can help you with whatever you are struggling with. Here are a few of my favorites songs- Fall Apart, Josh Wilson, Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift, The Call by Regina Spektor, All This Time by Britt Nicole, You Raise Me Up Celtic Woman, and What Doesn’t Kill You by Kelly Clarkson.

Go on, fight your demons. You are a fighter. You can conquer. Just remember that you are never alone. 

Images credit Tumblr.


I Don’t Hate Twilight For Religious Reasons

I’m sick of Twilight. I’m sick of all the ad’s. I can’t stand it. It’s enough to drive a completely crazy person over the brink of crazy.  I just can’t get into Twilight. I find the entire story predictable and boring. And STUPID. I shall do something drastic if I see one more poster…..

Anyhow, I got several comments from concerned readers who felt the need to tell my why I should watch Twilight. And while I respect that you love these movies, I don’t just hate Twilight for religious reasons. :)

This is supposed to be a vampire? I’m not buying it.

I can’t stand a movie where they make the vampire’s sparkly. Real vampire’s look like Bela Lugosi. Scary, creepy, and they will come and suck your blood.

The story is very poor and predictable. It’s nothing new. People have been writing Vampire stories for years and while I won’t comment on Stephanie Meyer’s writing, I will say that I think the story is rather bland. I’m not reading/watching a vampire story to learn about  hormonal teenagers who are lusting after each-other.

It sends a bad message to teenagers. Other stories talk about fighting evil, standing up for what is right, and friendship. And Twilight teaches the importance of having a boyfriend. Real mature. What a wonderful message.

 To ad insult to injury, they pair the girl with the jerk?? Really? Why would you date a stalker when you could date a nice boy that your dad likes? Hmmm…. I’m going with Jacob here. He might be a werewolf, but he wants to protect Bella and he’s not a creepy stalker.

If you like Twilight, then good for you! Just please don’t go on and on about how Edward is a sex-god and you want to find someone just like him. Twilight is a fantasy. It isn’t real.  Me? I’ll take Harry Potter, Narnia The Hunger Games, Star Wars,  and Lord of The Rings any day over Twilight. At least they are interesting and teach values. Ugh.

I’m off to enjoy a real vampire movie (Dracula) with a cup of tea. It’s snowing here and it’s the perfect day to do so.

You can read my first post here if you would like. Enjoy the comments. xD


It’s “Just” A Little Flutter

It happens to the best of us. Including me……

I was walking back from our car in my blue jeans, sneakers, and t-shirt and there is he was. Well, let’s call him “Greg” anyhow……. I was walking back to the building and “Greg” was by the door. As I walked up he looked at me with those piercing brown eyes and I felt my heart begin to flutter. He smiled at me and opened up the door. I thanked him and walked in. (“Greg” and I know each other quite well, we grew up together!)


It wasn’t anything. In fact, we didn’t even flirt. All he did was open up the door. But to me? Yes, to my girlish romantic heart he might as well have given me a diamond necklace. All that “Greg” did was open up the door, but in my silly mind I wondered to myself “Does he like me? Or was I reading into his look and smile?”

You see, “Greg” isn’t just anyone. He’s a really godly, nice and sweet young man who has alot of admirable qualities. Add to the fact that he’s tall and an all around cutie, he is enough to make any girl swoon.

I’m sure you’ve had a “Greg” in your life. The thing is, as my dear friend Toria told me “We can’t have them all!” And it’s true. There is nothing wrong with thinking that a guy is handsome, so long as it doesn’t go any farther then that. Just like there is nothing wrong with a boy thinking that a girl looks beautiful, so long as he doesn’t go any farther then that.

God has been teaching me lately, that I need to stop reading into things. Just because “Greg” opened up the door doesn’t mean that he’s interested in me. And just because he smiled, doesn’t mean anything. He was just being polite!

Yes, there is nothing wrong with romance, but I’m not ready for dating yet. I have so much more that I can do with my life besides wasting it dreaming about meeting prince charming. Girls, it’s a part of us to want to be loved and to want to meet someone who loves us for who we are, but the thing is most of us still have alot of growing up to do before we get married.

You don’t have to despair though. The “flutters” are a part of growing up. And everyone get’s them. The thing is, you just need to pick yourself and keep moving on. Don’t spend your time mooning or obsessing over “your” Greg. Focus on what is in the here and know.

Stop worrying and dreaming about guys. Sure these feelings are natural, but would YOU like it if your future husband spent all his teenage years drooling over all the cute girls? I don’t think so.

Not every cute guy is going to fall in love with you and ask you to marry him. So get over it. :)   Someday, God will send the perfect man into your life and you will fall hopelessly in love. Someday….. :)

Never give up girls! Your purity is SO worth it! Just pray that God will help you to overcome this season of your life.

Images credit Google Images


YOLO

YOLO. It’s my motto. You only live once, but if you get it right once is enough.

As a young teen I allowed what other people said about me and my family to rule me. I listened to what everyone said. Whether it was good or bad. And I was miserable. Instead of living my life that God has planned for me, I was living the way that other people thought I should be living my life.

And then one day something clicked. This is my life and I only get to live it once. So why not just enjoy it? After all, you only live once! You can’t let the way other people think you should be define you. YOU need to define yourself.

It’s not about what other people say to you, it’s not about what they think you should do, it’s about how you live your life and how you end it. So long as you have given it your all and loved everyone around you, God doesn’t ask any more.

Please, you only live once. So stop letting other’s control you and tell you how to live your life. Ignore the hater’s and the bullies because they aren’t worth it.

If you have made mistakes just pick yourself up and keep moving on. Life is an adventure. So treat is as such and stop worrying!

Images credit- Fight for Life’s Facebook Page

When Marriage Becomes An Idol

As a little girl I always never thought much about marriage. Well, I would play that I was a mother with my dolls and I would have a husband, but I skipped the wedding. (Then again, I would also play that I was a General in the army and my dolls were my soldiers) I was not a normal child. :)

For awhile when I was 12/13 all that I could think about was getting married, but as I grew older I saw more and more of my friends going on and on about when they would get married. And quite frankly I didn’t want to be one of those girls. So I slowly started to change my ways. Over time I stopped thinking obsessing about marriage. It took some time, but I finally realized and learned this lesson.

Here is a conversation between a friend and I awhile back:

Friend: I can’t WAIT to get married. Everything will be SO much better.

Me: Uh-huh.

Friend: Come one just think about it, everything will be PERFECT. I can’t wait till he comes along and sweeps me off my feet. **insert dreamy look on her part**

Me: **secretly rolling eyes** Um, yeah. That’s great, but marriage isn’t perfect! I mean my parents have an awesome marriage and they act like newly weds, but it takes alot of work to make a marriage work. And life just isn’t about getting married.

Friend: Whatever. Seriously, I don’t know why you can’t just be excited about it! I mean it’s marriage! It’s when my life will officially begin! It will be perfect.

I think that you get how the conversation went from here. She continued talking about how perfect her marriage would be and I just sat there listening.

This photo is mine so don’t steal. (Even though it’s a really bad photo)

See my friend has made marriage her idol. There is nothing wrong with wanting to get married and having kids, that is great! And it’s a part of God’s plan, but there is SO much more that you can have in life then marriage!

Let me ask you something, how old do you want to be when you are married? For some of us that age might have already gone by, but for the rest of us it’s coming up. You might be secretly feeling bitter about it or you can go on with your life.

When marriage becomes an idol it’s all that you can think about, it is your ONLY goal in life, and when you wonder if EVERY guy is the one. That is when marriage becomes an idol.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be married, we just need to be careful not to make it our idol. I’m going to make some of you gasp, but what if you are called to be single?

I am going to get off my soapbox, but I want to leave you with this- Learn to be happy when you are single and trust God. And who knows, maybe along your journey He might just send a man your way! Either way, being single is a gift. Enjoy it! :)

Don’t let marriage be your only goal in life. And don’t let it become an idol.