Virtuous Girlhood

It happens to the best of us. Including me……

I was walking back from our car in my blue jeans, sneakers, and t-shirt and there is he was. Well, let’s call him “Greg” anyhow……. I was walking back to the building and “Greg” was by the door. As I walked up he looked at me with those piercing brown eyes and I felt my heart begin to flutter. He smiled at me and opened up the door. I thanked him and walked in. (“Greg” and I know each other quite well, we grew up together!)

It wasn’t anything. In fact, we didn’t even flirt. All he did was open up the door. But to me? Yes, to my girlish romantic heart he might as well have given me a diamond necklace. All that “Greg” did was open up the door, but in my silly mind I wondered to myself “Does he like me? Or was I reading into his look and smile?”

You see, “Greg” isn’t just anyone. He’s a really godly, nice and sweet young man who has alot of admirable qualities. Add to the fact that he’s tall and an all around cutie, he is enough to make any girl swoon.

I’m sure you’ve had a “Greg” in your life. The thing is, as my dear friend Toria told me “We can’t have them all!” And it’s true. There is nothing wrong with thinking that a guy is handsome, so long as it doesn’t go any farther then that. Just like there is nothing wrong with a boy thinking that a girl looks beautiful, so long as he doesn’t go any farther then that.

God has been teaching me lately, that I need to stop reading into things. Just because “Greg” opened up the door doesn’t mean that he’s interested in me. And just because he smiled, doesn’t mean anything. He was just being polite!

Yes, there is nothing wrong with romance, but I’m not ready for dating yet. I have so much more that I can do with my life besides wasting it dreaming about meeting prince charming. Girls, it’s a part of us to want to be loved and to want to meet someone who loves us for who we are, but the thing is most of us still have alot of growing up to do before we get married.

You don’t have to despair though. The “flutters” are a part of growing up. And everyone get’s them. The thing is, you just need to pick yourself and keep moving on. Don’t spend your time mooning or obsessing over “your” Greg. Focus on what is in the here and know.

Stop worrying and dreaming about guys. Sure these feelings are natural, but would YOU like it if your future husband spent all his teenage years drooling over all the cute girls? I don’t think so.

Not every cute guy is going to fall in love with you and ask you to marry him. So get over it.   Someday, God will send the perfect man into your life and you will fall hopelessly in love. Someday…..

Never give up girls! Your purity is SO worth it! Just pray that God will help you to overcome this season of your life.

Images credit Google Images

As a little girl I always never thought much about marriage. Well, I would play that I was a mother with my dolls and I would have a husband, but I skipped the wedding. (Then again, I would also play that I was a General in the army and my dolls were my soldiers) I was not a normal child.

For awhile when I was 12/13 all that I could think about was getting married, but as I grew older I saw more and more of my friends going on and on about when they would get married. And quite frankly I didn’t want to be one of those girls. So I slowly started to change my ways. Over time I stopped thinking obsessing about marriage. It took some time, but I finally realized and learned this lesson.

Here is a conversation between a friend and I awhile back:

Friend: I can’t WAIT to get married. Everything will be SO much better.

Me: Uh-huh.

Friend: Come one just think about it, everything will be PERFECT. I can’t wait till he comes along and sweeps me off my feet. **insert dreamy look on her part**

Me: **secretly rolling eyes** Um, yeah. That’s great, but marriage isn’t perfect! I mean my parents have an awesome marriage and they act like newly weds, but it takes alot of work to make a marriage work. And life just isn’t about getting married.

Friend: Whatever. Seriously, I don’t know why you can’t just be excited about it! I mean it’s marriage! It’s when my life will officially begin! It will be perfect.

I think that you get how the conversation went from here. She continued talking about how perfect her marriage would be and I just sat there listening.

This photo is mine so don’t steal. (Even though it’s a really bad photo)

See my friend has made marriage her idol. There is nothing wrong with wanting to get married and having kids, that is great! And it’s a part of God’s plan, but there is SO much more that you can have in life then marriage!

Let me ask you something, how old do you want to be when you are married? For some of us that age might have already gone by, but for the rest of us it’s coming up. You might be secretly feeling bitter about it or you can go on with your life.

When marriage becomes an idol it’s all that you can think about, it is your ONLY goal in life, and when you wonder if EVERY guy is the one. That is when marriage becomes an idol.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be married, we just need to be careful not to make it our idol. I’m going to make some of you gasp, but what if you are called to be single?

I am going to get off my soapbox, but I want to leave you with this- Learn to be happy when you are single and trust God. And who knows, maybe along your journey He might just send a man your way! Either way, being single is a gift. Enjoy it!

Don’t let marriage be your only goal in life. And don’t let it become an idol.

So many teenagers today are listening to the lies of the world and are compromising their faith, purity, and lives. The even sadder part? Most of these teenagers don’t even realize that they are doing this. They only know the aftermath of their destructive choices.

Thankfully, more and more people are starting to help young women understand WHY it is important to live a pure life that doesn’t just include staying pure before your wedding!

This new book from Elsa Kok Colopy teaches young women why it is important to strengthen their relationship with God and how to demonstrate purity through everything that they do.

I can’t say that this book taught me anything new or that I didn’t already know, but I can say that this book DID remind me exactly why it is important to live a pure life. I really enjoyed reading this book and I think that it should be on every young woman’s bookshelf.

You can find PURE LOVE, PURE LIFE: Exploring God’s Heart on Purity through Zondervan, in January 2012 for $9.99

Virtuous Girlhood received these products in exchange for writing a review. I was under no obligation to review them if I so chose. Nor was I under any obligation to write a positive review. This review is my honest thoughts of the products and company. All opinions are my own and not impressed by monetary compensation. Virtuous Girlhood does not endorse nor agree with everything at the websites featured.

This post was inspired by this post here.

Hot or pretty? I don’t like it when guys treat me as if I**ahem** am a sex object to be stared at.  (No, I don’t dress immodestly most of the time I’m in jeans or a knee length skirt) I would much rather be called a pretty girl then a “hot babe”. Seriously, if you guys think this is a turn on think again! I don’t give a guy half a chance if he whistles and  shouts “Hey babe, what’s up!!” SERIOUSLY????? I might look innocent and sweet, but I HATE these comments!

I want to ask you something- How would you describe Taylor Swift? Most people would describe her as pretty and innocent and I agree. However, how would you describe Miley? I would say you would probably say that she is “hot”. If you compare the way she dresses to the way Miley Cyrus dresses, which would you rather be like? I’ll be like Taylor thank you very much.

Let me explain something to you, most of the time when you dress like a “hot chick” then you will get treated like a plaything and a toy that guys can use. However, if you dress like a pretty innocent young lady then guys will instantly want to respect and protect you. (In my experience though sometimes it doesn’t matter what you wear and guys will still be jerks!)

See my point? When guys see a girl dressed modestly and looking like a girl should, something clicks in their brain. They instantly want to protect and respect you. Dressing pretty will ensure that guys will WANT to win your heart, protect it, and love you.

However, when you dress up in a micro-mini skirt and corset type top, guys will think that you are cheap and they can easily get you. They won’t want to protect or love you. They just want your body.

Something that Emma Watson once said really stuck with me: “Modesty is hottest, and the more you keep covered the more people can wonder.”

I know that Emma and Taylor have both worn some questionable things, but compared to Katy Perry and Miley Cyrus they both seem to be all around sweethearts!

My point is, is that we don’t have pretty anymore. We have hot. I say that we bring pretty back! And maybe along the way we will uncover some guys who are being suffocated by all the “hot” girls out there. Remember, for every pretty girl this is a hundred “hot” girls.

It’s your choice, will you be a pretty girl or a hot girl? You CAN be a beautiful, modest, and pretty girl. Me? I choose the pretty girl. And even if the guys go for the hot girls- remember they respect the pretty girls. And I’d rather be respected any day then be treated like a object that is just there for play and fun.

First off, I know that with some Christian families these books are not widely welcomed, but can I just say that if you watch secular movies, listen to secular music, watch tv, have non-Christian friends, reads secular books, or has anything to do with the world then the contents of this book probably won’t surprise your daughter.

Ok, with that aside can I just say that this book is really, really, really good? Most people today think that only men struggle with sexual problems, but I’m afraid that this isn’t true. Young women struggle just as much. And this book shows you how to-

·learn how the sexual battle begins in your heart and mind
· understand your hunger for attention from guys
· recognize and avoid the potential pitfalls awaiting young women on the journey toward adulthood and possibly marriage
· find out how the media, novels, fashion, internet chat rooms, and body and beauty obsessions influence your choices–and what you can do about it
· guard your mind, heart, and body against sexual and emotional compromise
· develop a deeper, more satisfying level of intimacy with God

If you find that you struggle with any of these things then you need to read this book. This book was very eye-opening to me with several issues. Some might say that the author’s are too blunt, but I disagree. I felt like the author’s dealt with the issues that girls face in a very age-appropriate way. While I would recommend that girls 14 and up read this book simply because of the content, it is a very good book.

While this book won’t give you a magic cure to stop getting crushes on guys, it will give you helpful hints and tricks to learn to overcome them. It will show you why it’s important to dress modestly, why it’s important to remain pure and to make right choices. And it also shows you just how much God care’s about YOU.

You can find this book wherever books are sold and I highly recommend that you read it!

Virtuous Girlhood received these products in exchange for writing a review. I was under no obligation to review them if I so chose. Nor was I under any obligation to write a positive review. This review is my honest thoughts of the products and company. All opinions are my own and not impressed by monetary compensation. Virtuous Girlhood does not endorse nor agree with everything at the websites featured.

I’ve finally found my prince charming. No, it’s not what you think. I’m not dating, I’m not engaged, and I’m not seeing anybody. But yet I am. You are probably confused, and you have a right to be! Let me explain….

If you had asked me at 13 if I would mind being single, I would have flipped out. I planned on getting married at 18. Fast forward several years later, I’m laughing at myself. Seriously RJ??? The date that I wanted to be married at is fast approaching and **gasp** I’m still not in a relationship yet!

I’m nowhere near ready to be married. I have so much to learn. And my life has only begun. I have so many plans for my life before I settle down and I get married. Don’t get me wrong, I want to get married. But at the same time, I’m ok if I stay single my entire life. If you had asked me at 13 if I was ok with being single for the rest of my life I would have stared at you and said NO WAY! But now?

Now I’m ok with being single for the rest of my life. Why? Because I have Jesus. God has been showing me that I don’t NEED a man’s love. I need Jesus. I don’t need strong arms around me, I already have the strongest arms around me. I don’t need to be swept off my feet by prince charming. I’m being carried. I don’t need to fall in love, I’m already in love.

I’ve found my prince charming. And you know what? I couldn’t be happier. The best choice that I ever made was to give myself to God. Even though my life is total chaos, I feel a peace in my heart because I know that God loves me. And that He is here for me. And that His arms are around me.

My current theme song is “Waiting for Tomorrow” by Mandisa. This song is EPIC!

Can’t spend my whole life wastin’
Everything I know I’ve been given
‘Cause you’ve made for so much more than
Sittin’ on the side lines
I don’t wanna look back and wonder
If good enough could’ve been better

Everyday’s a day to start over
So, why am I waiting for tomorrow

Maybe today I’ll start believing
That you’re mercy is really
As real as you say it is
It doesn’t matter who I used to be
It only matters that I’ve been set free
You rescued me you’re changing me
Jesus take everything

This isn’t to say I’m perfect. I’m not. In fact I’m the chief of sinners. I’m just a sinner. I’m a broken rebel. And I still mess up, in fact, I mess up every day, but at the same time, I know that God still loves me. And I know that He will NEVER leave me.

In this day in age, many teenagers **think** that they are in love with someone. But in reality, most of the time it’s not really love. It is just infatuation on the girls part, and on the guy’s part it’s usually lust.

But what does it REALLY mean to love someone? Well, we are given our guidelines in 1 Corinthians 13.

I want to ask you something, what do you think it means to really love a boy? Does it mean to tell them sweet things and to look at them with doting eyes? If you say yes then you got it wrong! True love is a number of things, but if you really love a boy then you won’t say or do anything that would cause him to stumble. Now, it’s one thing to dote on a guy if you are in a serious relationship, but even then you should be careful to guard his heart as well as your own.

True love does not compromise any one’s purity whether emotional or physical. Let’s talk about physical purity/modesty for a minute…..If you don’t dress modestly and you enjoy getting attention from guys, let me ask you two things-

1. How would you feel if your future husband was paying attention to girls who where immodest?

2. Did you ever even stop to realize that by dressing immodestly you are compromising other women’s husbands purity as well as your own? That puts things into perspective doesn’t it!

However, you can still compromise your purity even if you dress modestly! Let me explain, as women, it’s not our goal in life to “catch” men. We don’t want to make men fall head over heels in love with us, we don’t want them to obsess about us, we don’t want them to flirt with us. Why? Because as Christian’s we are to view men as our brother’s in Christ. Not as objects who we use.

Men aren’t the only ones who use people, we as women can use men as well. Acting, dressing, or flirting with a guy just for attention is using them. And we are not treating them as brother’s in the Christ if we act this way around them.

Know I understand that some guys do have lust problems, but at the same time we can help to protect our own purity as well as these young men’s purity by dressing and acting modestly.

How can we love our brother’s in Christ? Good question! And here’s the answer-

Dress and act like your future husband was at your side.
Love them like a brother.
Don’t flirt. And don’t dress immodestly.
Pray for them.
Set a godly example. Men need godly girls to set an example for them, when so much temptation surrounds them.
Point them to Christ. Men need to see gentleness, compassion, humility…at work, so they can develop it in their own lives.
Be a shining light.

Our goal in life should be to point men to Christ. To motivate them toward building character, and to demonstrate a closer walk with God. And how can you do that when men are obsessed with you? And how can YOU do that if you are obsessed with them?

I know that things are different for every girl, but we need to remember to just pray for the young man that we know. Don’t try to get their attention, just pray for them! Just be a shining light.

You don’t want boys to see you, you don’t want them to fall in love with you, you don’t want them to become obsessed with you. Young men don’t need you. They need Jesus. They need a passionate relationship with our Savior.  We as women need to truly understand what it really means to love a boy.

If you really love a boy then you won’t do anything around him that would compromise his purity or your own. Remember, true love waits.

Romance. It’s something that every girl dreams of. We dream of first kisses, strong arms around us, sweet words whispered in our ear, and marriage. While, it’s true that marriage is romantic, I think that we need to consider what romance REALLY is. One of my favorite quotes is by Lucy Maud Montgomery…..

“Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one’s life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one’s side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music; perhaps . . . perhaps . . . love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath.”-Lucy Maud Montgomery, from Anne of Avonlea

It’s true, romance usually just doesn’t “happen”, it starts from a friendship and it grows to more. But, let’s think about TRUE romance for a minute. I really love this saying-

“The most romantic love story of all time is not Romeo and Juliet who died together, but grandpa and grandma who grew old together.” ~Unknown

And it’s true! It’s far more romantic to fall in love with someone and grow old with them, then to die together young.  I love Mark Schultz’s song Walking Her Home. True love never gives up one someone even when they are old and gray.

My mom’s parents are testimonies of this song. My grandfather died of cancer when he was in his 50′s, and through it all my grandmother was right by his side taking care of him and loving him. It was so sweet, because they had dated since they where 12/13 and then they got married. But to this day, Nanny (my grandmother) has never dated anyone else. She misses my grandfather terribly, and she loved him to the end. She even got a heart with his name in it and a arrow shooting through it tattooed on her ankle. I think it’s so romantic.

My parents have a amazing marriage too. And that’s what I want. I want a marriage that is based on love. And I want to grow old with my future husband. I want someone who sweeps me off my feet and I want someone who tells me I’m beautiful even without any makeup on.

However, I think we girls need to realize that marriage isn’t a great big romantic piece of cake. I may not be married, but I know that much. Marriage is having a whole different life with someone, and it’s easier when it’s with someone that you love. Marriage is about late nights, crying children, bills to pay, tons of chores, a dirty house, and living with someone.  But you know what? It will be worth it in the end if you have true love.

My point is, we need to realize that TRUE romance is about loving someone no matter what. Because when you marry someone, it’s for better or for worse, and you are stuck with them for life. So you better learn to love them!

Girls, stop dreaming about how wonderful your life will be when you get married, because you’ll have a whole different slew of problems then too. (I’m talking to myself too!) Learn to love the life God has given you, and realize that romance just isn’t about being swept off your feet, marriage is a life long commitment and it’s a amazing thing.

Here is a wonderful article on  Twilight’s demonic roots.

Yay! Twilight is out! I’m SO thrilled! After all, Robert P is like the cutest guy on the planet. NOT. Yeah, to add to my “weirdness” I’m not a Twilight fan. I would never watch the movies. However, I know that many girls are HUGE Twilight fans (including Christians!) But my thoughts are, is Twilight really edifying???

I watched the newest Twilight trailer recently and I wasn’t surprised at what I saw. Twilight is basically a movie series about how a vampire falls in love with a “human” girl. The three teenagers in the movies/books are Edward, Bella, and Jacob.

Twilight has made well over 142 million dollars in the box office in the first opening weekend alone. And that doesn’t even include the annual sales that total over one billion dollars. The films are full or romance, adventure, and vampires. The three leading actor are-Robert Pattinson  (ICK!), Taylor Lautner, and Kristen Stewart.

I’m not going to go off on a rant about why you shouldn’t watch Twilight. Rather I’m going to just simply list some points-

• Is Bella really in a healthy relationship with Edward?

Just think about it. Edward does not really love Bella. He only wants to drink her blood. And he also manipulates Bella and lusts after her. And while it’s normal for guys to find girls attractive, Edward stalks Bella, blackmails her into getting married and constantly is willing to put her in danger to satisfy his own desires. And another thing, Bella is food to Edward. That’d be like a person (even a vegetarian) dating a cheeseburger.

Admit it. The characters in Twilight really aren’t admirable. Bella thinks she needs a man to make her happy and is willing to do anything for Edward. Even if it means dying for him. And Edward is a wimp. If you ask me, Edward seems like a wimpy male who is controlling Bella and using her for HIS purpose. Neither one of them is very admirable. The only character that seems to have a little good in him is Jacob. At least he wants to protect Bella. But even then, I don’t think he’s the best role model.

• What does the Bible say about evil?

The Bible says to flee from evil. And even though stories like Snow White include evil, they show the characters FLEEING from evil. Bella is running towards evil aka Edward. She isn’t fleeing from it. The Bible tells us to “live as children of the light.” The vampires are portrayed as beings who run from the light and hide in the darkness, God did not create us to be that way. And teenagers all over the world are turning to darkness. It may appear innocent, but just think about how evil vampires really are!

• Is it pure?

The Bible says to think on things that are pure, and Twilight is FAR from pure. Some Christians may say that Twilight is ok because they wait to have sex until marriage, but the books and movies clearly show that the only reason Bella and Edward abstain from sex is because it’s dangerous. It’s made abundantly clear that if Edward were human, they’d be all over each other… that and the fact that they are constantly pushing limits, Twilight is not at all focused on purity.

• What about the demons?

Twilight is clearly one of Satan tools to lure young people into his kingdom. It may seem innocent, but it’s really not. I’ve read articles from teens who have been involved in the Occult and this is NO laughing matter. People may write it off as “just a show/movie”. But it’s not. Satan is real and he will do whatever he can to steal the hearts and souls of teenagers. And what better way to make them think that lust, adultery, drinking human blood, killing people, and everything else. There are subtle demonic messages in Twilight. And well they may appear innocent, Satan is trying to corrupt our minds using something that the main audience will find to be innocent.

• What about the good vs evil?

In anything about vampire’s there seems to be good vampires and bad vampires. But, doesn’t the Bible say that ALL things dark and demonic are from Satan? And if that’s true, then there is no such thing as good or bad vampires. ALL vampires are evil.

• And finally, what about the “good looking” actors?

Vampires were originally evil and associated with dark practices. Just look back at all the old movies. Vampires where ugly guys with fangs. And know they are portrayed as attractive???? Why would people suddenly decide to make them look innocent and attractive? If you ask me, Satan trying to deceive people into thinking they vampires are attractive and ok to admire; like many other things in the world. Twilight has changed to make vampires appear to be attractive. In the old movies people would turn away when they saw the weird pale guy with sharp teeth. As Christians, shouldn’t we do the same? And yes, I am aware that Jacob is not a vampire. So calm down Taylor fans!

Let’s look at this verse shall we?

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. – Philippians 4:8

Now, does Twilight measure up to this? I think you know where I stand, so I’ll let you decide! Will YOU be watching Twilight?

Romance. It’s something I want more then anything. I long for the day when I am that girl in the picture above. I want more then anything to fall hopelessly in love with someone and to be loved in return. I want to feel strong arms around me. I want someone to sweep me off my feet and tell me I’m beautiful even when I don’t have any makeup on.

But the other day I got to thinking, what if that never happens? What if I am single my entire life? That was a sobering thought. I know that I spend more time then I need too thinking about romance and getting married. And I’m sure that most of you girls do too. But really think about it, what if we end up single? We have a choice here, we can either embrace our years of singleness or we can spend our time dreaming about our future.

I don’t know about you, but I wasted alot of my childhood years dreaming about being a adult. And yep, as soon as the adult years came I realized just how much I  missed being a kid. I really wish that I hadn’t been in such a hurry to grow up. And thinking about that really made me think, well if I spend all my single years dreaming about romance, I’ll have wasted my single years!

I call this sort of thing “Rapunzel disease” so many girls, no too many girls are so busy dreaming about their perfect Flynn Riders that they forget about what being single REALLY is! Being single isn’t about waiting around from prince charming, it’s about serving the Lord and blessing others. Not sitting around waiting for your prince.

So, while romance is a wonderful, beautiful, and amazing thing, just remember, if it’s God’s will for you to have romance, then he will send you your prince charming. Don’t just sit around and wait for him! Get up! Get busy! And who knows, once you have stopped feeling like Rapunzel, maybe you’ll meet your Flynn Rider in the process! Oh, and on a side note, before you even think about developing relationships with guys please do make sure that you have a good relationship with God first!

It seems like all the clothing these days are getting skinner, shorter, and tighter. And the clothing stores tell you that “if you’ve got it, flaunt it!” Don’t even get me started on Junior’s clothing. It’s really hard to find modest clothing. All the clothing makes you look like trashy! And it all seems to be made so it WILL cause guys to stumble.

These days, all girls seem to be thinking “will this outfit make me look hot or not?” Sorry girls, but looking “hot” isn’t exactly what you should be thinking when you get dressed! Rather, you should be thinking “will this outfit cause a brother to stumble?” When I get dressed in the morning, I try to be modest, yet fashionable/attractive. I don’t get up thinking “what can I wear that will push the limits?’ or “how hot will this make me look” Looking hot isn’t on my agenda! Looking attractive yet modest? Yes!

I love the label on my cargo pants, it says “To go nowhere follow the crowd” And it’s SO true! Following the latest trends won’t get you anywhere! You CAN be modest while being attractive!

Girls, you don’t want to look trashy. And all the clothing these days seems to be trying to make girls look trashy. Let me ask you something, do these clothing items REALLY honor God? When you are wearing short shorts, mini skirts, tube dresses, and crop tops will people be able to see your shining light? And are you being a city on a hill?

Remember, your clothing should be loose enough to show you are a lady, but tight enough to show you are a woman. Tube dresses/tops, short shorts, “hot” pants, crop tops, and mini skirts/dresses aren’t clothing that a virtuous girl wears. When you get dressed, take a good look in the mirror and check out your outfit, would you be embarrassed if your pastor could see you? If not, then wear the clothing! But if you would be embarrassed, wear a different outfit.

When you choose to ignore the latest immodest trends, not only are you protecting your OWN purity, but you are also protecting the purity of boys and men around you.

Many times I have had people and even “friends” laugh when they find out that I am waiting to kiss or touch a guy till I’m married. And then they ask me why I would want to do something so old fashioned as to save my virginity for my wedding night. Why on earth would you want to do that?? Is generally their response.

My response? I don’t want to give pieces of my heart or body away to guys who simply want me for my body. That’s not ok with me. I respect myself enough to realize that throwing myself out there to any guy is destroying my physical and emotional purity.

One way that I help myself to remember is by wearing a purity ring. And one of my favorite quotes is “True love waits”.

When I get married, I want to walk down the aisle spotlessly pure, and I want to give myself to my husband. Fully knowing that no other man has seen or touched my body. My body is sacred and for my husband. I know that waiting, even though it may be hard will make our first kiss even more special.

The Bible says that our bodies are God’s temple. And if our bodies are His temple, how are we respecting God’s temple if we let anyone and anybody use our bodies?

Check out these Bible verses on purity-

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.” -1 Timothy 4:12

1 Corinthians 6:18- “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”

Girls, if any of you have given pieces of your heart and body away, that doesn’t mean that you have to continue doing that. Because God has forgiven you. Even if you are no longer a virgin (whether by choice or force), God still loves you. And your future husband will too. Whether or not you gave your virginity away, or it was taken from you is not the point, the point is, is that God still loves you and you can continue to wait for your Prince Charming. You don’t have to continue giving yourself away.

Your body and purity is special. Please save it for your husband! If you want to read some good books on this subject, read Joshua Harris’s books. I cannot recommend them more. Sure, he is blunt, but he also does a amazing job of writing on purity.

Am I right, or am I wrong? Or am I the only one who is still committed to wait? And if you are married and waited until your wedding day to kiss, was it worth it? Or married ladies who didn’t wait to kiss, do you wish you did? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Some day’s I feel like Rapunzel. If you have ever seen Tangled then you know what I’m talking about. Some days I feel like my if revolves around school, dishes, and chores. And sometimes I wonder to myself “when will my life begin”, and more then not, I start thinking that I just need a Flynn Rider to come and rescue me.

One night after a especially hard day this month I say down and started journaling. I cried out to God telling him that I wanted more. I wanted a life besides this. Why can’t I be like other girls? And why does this have to be so hard! You see, one of my pet peeves is farming. I don’t like vegetables. I mean I like to EAT them, but this girl doesn’t like to grow them. However, my parents are true country people. We farm. Ever since we moved out to the country in August, we have been preparing to farm next year. But, I don’t want to. However, like everything else God is slowly teaching me that I need to let go of my own dreams and embrace God’s calling for me. That night I learned two things-

1. I’m a farm girl. I’m not a city girl who lives in Chicago, I live in the country surrounded by corn fields. I am also called to help my parents with their various enterprises.

2. If I’m glorifying God by washing dishes, watching children, cleaning up the bathroom or hallway for the TENTH time today, taking care of chickens, and weeding, then so be it. I just have to learn to give my dreams to God!

This Rapunzel type attitude doesn’t glorify God. As a very dear friend  (my piano teacher) pointed out to me “One day we will have to submit to our husbands, so why not learn it now by submitting to our parents. It can be hard, but we have to learn this lesson.” Doesn’t that make sense? Some of us girls are trapped in the Rapunzel like thoughts of- If only I had a Flynn Rider to rescue me, or as soon as I get married I won’t have to do this anymore! WRONG! For most of us this IS our calling. And we have to embrace it.

Don’t throw all your dreams out the window. I still have dreams, but for know I am realizing that my dreams aren’t God’s plan for me. Maybe one day I’ll get to see LA, NY, and Italy, maybe one day I’ll be able to foster troubled teenagers, and maybe one day I’ll find my Flynn Rider and we’ll ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. But for know? For know I’m going to embrace my calling and go pick up that hallway for the 11th time today!

So throw Rapunzel out the window, try to forget about Flynn for awhile and embrace your calling. Your Flynn will come. But in the meantime we need to be ready for him! And sitting around waiting for Flynn won’t pass the time any faster ladies! (Remember, Rapunzel was BUSY. She didn’t sit around! )

My apologies for the two pictures in this article. I didn’t even notice that they had a strapless top in each them. Thanks to the ladies who informed me of them. Like I said, I didn’t even notice, and most of the time I write these articles in the wee hours of the morning, so if I miss anything please let me know ok??

I never really thought about guys and modesty before I started getting older. And I never really realized how important it is to be modest. Ecspecially around guys. Know some of you girls might say “Well, it’s their problem. If they can’t control themselves, then it’s THEIR problem.” WRONG!

Girls that dress immodestly around guys will not have respect from guys. And as a female, you want guys to respect you.

Now, I will give you this, sometimes it doesn’t matter what you wear around guys. It’s true that some guys DO have problems and they can’t control themselves (I know take it from me!), but for 95% of guys respect girls that dress modestly. Here is what some guys say about modesty:

Question #1- Do You Respect a Modestly Dressed Girl More Then A Immodestly Dressed Girl?

“I respect a modestly dressed girl SO much! It shows so much of their inner character, strength to fight the culture, and care for their brothers!” age 16…..

“I hold girls who dress modestly with so much more respect, because they chose to stand alone.” age 16

“God requires me to respect everyone as someone created by God but beyond that, respect must be earned.” age 21

“No question. It’s hugely unattractive if a girl dresses immodestly; even more so if she acts immodestly. It honestly repulses me.” age 17

“Immodesty says, “take me to bed, it won’t cost you anything.” Modesty says, “respect me, win my heart, protect me.” age 23

“Modesty may not always receive the most attention, but it does receive the most respect.” age 25

“Especially a Christian girl – non-Chrisians have no reason to dress modestly but our sisters in Christ have a responsibility!” age 18

“Sure! When a girl who claims to be a Christian is dressing immodestly she has automatically lost most of my respect. I think that she either has not read the scriptures and seen that God requires modesty, or does not care, or has found a way to rationalize her clothing. She is also either clueless about how her clothing affects men or does not care. This may sound harsh, but I have very little respect for a woman who is any of the above. (As a parenthetical remark, for a new believer I give a hair of grace. But the longer she waits to change her dressing habits, the less respect I have for her.) Conversely, I have great respect for a woman that dresses modestly; she is obeying her LORD, showing love to her brothers, and standing against the wickedness in our culture.” age 16

Question #2- Modesty is an important quality for your future wife to have?

“It is absolutely my very first criteria. Immodestly dressed ladies are the first people I eliminate as possibilities.” age 21

“It is one of my chief qualites because it reveals a lot about her character. Does she want to be known as a hot girl or a godly lady?” age 23

“Modesty is not just an issue of clothes, it also has to do with the heart and the woman’s walk with God. A girl who dresses modestly is showing that her heart is right, and that is the kind of woman I intend to marry someday.” age 16

“There is a difference between paranoid modesty, or external (not from the heart) modesty, and true attractive modesty. I want my wife to know the difference, not out of legalism, but out of strong character. =)” age 17

“If she’s using that kind of bait to hook you, why would she stop after catching her first fish?” age 40-49

“The fact that my wife has saved so much of herself for me is really special. While we were getting to know each other her modestly let me know she was serious about bringing every area of her life in submission to Christ and that she cared about me and my spiritual growth.” age 30

“I don’t want my wife dressing as if she is trying to give herself away to every guy that looks at her. I want her to dress, even before I know her, as a woman who is a precious object that must be won through pure and genuine love, not lust.” age 21

“I don’t want a wife who lacks Christian morals and is immodest, but I don’t want a wife who dresses like a nun. I want a wife like my girlfriend who dresses tastefully, but in style.” age 18

“YES I am drawn more towards a girl that dresses modestly” age 21

“Modesty safeguards purity, and that is of monumental importance to me for my future wife.” age 17

“No girl even gets considered unless she is actively striving for modesty.” age 16

Question #3- Despite rampant immodesty all around us, girls who choose to dress modestly do make a difference-

“They distinguish themselves, the very thing the immodest girls are trying to do. All girls have curves. To a guy looking for more than that, showing curves doesn’t tell him anything new. He knows your a girl, he wants a lady.” age 30

“The girls who dress modestly make a difference because they stand out above the girls who dress immodestly. I am encouraged in my spiritual life to remain pure whenever I see a modestly dressed girl.” age 19

“They provide “hope” for single guys who are looking for girls with high standards. They help, even if only to a small degree, steer popular culture in the right direction. They allow guys to enjoy their friendship without the distractions that accompany immodest dress.” age 24

“If only there were more.” age 16

“It’s a breath of fresh air. I remember being on a beach amidst a sea of bikinis, and my eyes fixated on the gal in a t-shirt and trousers. What can I say? She was the attractive one!” age 21

“It shows that not everyone has bought the hype and that some girls prefer to be appreciated for their entire person instead of just their body.” age 18

“Please continue. Never stop. You do make a difference, if only to one person, there is a difference.” age 18

“Whenever I see a modest girl in a crowd, I can easily pick her out and I, as well as others (whether they realize it or not), show her more respect. And it seems that girls searching for God would be more likely to turn to a modestly dressed confessing Christian girl than one that looks no different than every other girl.” age 16

“They make a huge difference! Modest girls provide a consistent example of Biblical truth to a fallen world, and are lights of purity in the gloom of modern fashion. Stand against culture, be women of “sturdy virtue”, live for God, and the world will be speechless.” age 17

“In today’s immodest culture, the girl that really stands out among the rest is the modest one, the one that dresses differently.” age 16

“Modestly dressed girls show their fear and love of God while helping their brother in his fight. What an amazing faith-validating and love-confirming message!” age 30

“Girls who dress modestly are a breath of fresh air in the midst of the immodesty all around. It’s something like seeing a rare bird. Beautiful and exciting!” age 21

Taken from the Rebelution Modesty survey….

SEE? It’s not just me saying this! Tons of guys agree! They respect girls that dress modestly SO much more! Even non-christian guys do! You may not be getting any attention by dressing modestly, but you do gain the respect from young men. In the long run which do you want more? Respect or attention?

Do you have a boyfriend? It seems like everyone asks me that question. And to be quite frank with you, I’m tired of it! I’m still in high school, and if I did want to date, most of the boys I know are too immature to date anyways! (seriously, I don’t want to date a teenager who STILL acts like my 10yo bro!)

I’ve already explained that I’m waiting till I find “the one”. But you might be wondering why. Why? Well, because I don’t want to just date anyone just for the sake of being “cool” or popular. The pleasure of guys attention is only temporary. Guys will move on. And unless you are ready for marriage then you really aren’t ready to date!

The thing, is you have to ask yourself, am I really ready for marriage? The whole point of dating is to find a partner for life. But the thing is, most teenagers aren’t ready for marriage at 16/17. Dating is all about relationships. And some teenagers just aren’t ready for the type of relationship that dating requires.

Teenagers these days date, make out, and break up faster then you can say “boom”. And people wonder why 65% of marriages fail and divorce rate increased 40% from 1970???? I wonder! Teenagers are so used to dating people and when things don’t go right they break up. What do you think is going to happen when they get married? The same thing. It’s a sobering thought.

In my opinionated mind, dating when you are 15 is pointless. 15 year old boys aren’t ready for marriage. And neither are girls. You kiss, make out, and talk all the time to these boys. And then you move on. And what are you left with? Ripped up valentines and broken hearts. What’s the point?

I really don’t think that most teens are mature enough to date unless they are 17/18! There is SO much that you can do before you start messing around with boys! If you really feel the “need” to date, I don’t judge you for that. We all have to live our lives, but the thing is, is that we need to live for God.

Well, what about me? I want to finish high school, then I want to take come college classes on photography and writing. I also want to go on a mission trip to Mexico. Maybe I’ll volunteer and help out some single moms. I don’t know what God wants me to do with my life, but I do know that there is so much more I can do besides dating!

Don’t get me wrong, I want more then anything else to meet that special man, but I’m willing to wait so that when I DO meet the one, I’ll be able to give him everything I have. Not just a piece of my heart. I want to be able to give him my heart, mind and body. Not just pieces of it, I want to be able to give him ALL of it.

I don’t want to throw away my affections on boys who don’t really love me. I’m looking for a prince charming. I’m looking for a man of God. I’m looking for a man who will love me for who I am, not what I look like. And that kind of man, will only come once in a lifetime!

Does that mean I haven’t had interest from guys? Oh, yes! Quite a few guys have been interested in me, but I’ve turned them down. Why? Well because 1. They weren’t the right guys for me and 2. I’m not ready to date. Right know I’m focused on school and serving Jesus. Not on boys. And besides, the only guys that have ever asked me out are the creepy guys. (I mean seriously, creepy!)

My advice is to make a list of 10 qualities you want in your future husband. And stick to that list! And don’t settle for anything less. And be sure to read good books like I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris and other books for encouragement and advice on purity. Whenever you decide to “get” a boyfriend, be sure to talk to your parents and PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!

Just remember that if God wants you to marry, then he will send along your prince charming. Don’t settle for anyone less! We deserve princes. And we deserve to be treated like the princesses that we are. God has written a love story for each and every one of us. We just have to wait until it begins! Girls, don’t throw away your purity just because a boy claims to be in love with you. Just wait, it will be worth it!